Happy birthday to me

I believe that when the Bean was born, Hashem put a new heart in my chest. Then and since, the Bean has given me so many gifts of which she is unaware.

I was walking her to sleep tonight, and it was foggy. Although we are near the ocean, fog is quite unusual here, for reasons I don't understand. The fog was thick and creepy. The streetlights shone through the trees in distinct rays. It was beautiful.

There have been so many times in the past two years that I have been out with her and seen things I would not have otherwise. I was out for the lunar eclipse last October. For full moons and new moons. For sunsets and sunrises. I have been out at 3 AM, when no one else was. There was one times when I was followed and screamed at by some crows (new parents, G-d love 'em), but mostly being outside has been a sanity saver, a nerve tonic, a source of exercise and solitude and serenity that the indoors just does not bring to me.

I guess I could have walked like this for years. I am insomniac, after all. But I didn't. I read and watched TV and did endless nights of homework in front of the TV and eschewed exercise as nearly as possible. I felt ripped off if I had to walk somewhere without an errand in mind, and even for those I usually drove. In short, I pissed away those years of childlessness that could have been prime naval-gazing-and-toning time.

Hopefully, things will never be "back to normal". Happy birthday to me, from my sweet girl. I have no idea why Hashem would have entrusted me with such a great little person, but I am thankful.