A day both great and terrible

So the husband is starting the week from hell tonight. A late hockey game, an early meeting, a one-day trip out of town, early meetings the next day straight through to dinnertime, etc. We aren't going to see him much, so today was a big family day and my last day to get a bit of extra rest before the fun start.

Before I went to bed last night, I said something like "Good night. Just to warn you, I am so tired that I will probably like for you to get her (the Bean) up in the morning so I can sleep in a bit. After all, we don't have to leave to swimming until almost 10." And he said ok.

So this morning, he woke up, heard that she was waking up, and wandered out of earshot without the baby monitor so that I had to wake up completely and shriek his name a half dozen times to get him back in the bedroom. He thought it was so late that there was no way I wanted more sleep. It was 7 AM, and you're damn skippy I wanted more sleep. I know, it's an honest mistake and I am a bitch from hell, but he has made mistakes that limit my sleep at least once or twice a month for the past two years. He locks cats in the room with me, or wakes me way before I need to be up, or wanders off, or won't get up in the first place, and so on. So we snitted at each other over that, made up, and had a nice breakfast together as a family.

Then onto swimming. We had a blast as usual, with the Bean jumping off walls and pool steps onto me, laughing when I got wet and spluttered, chasing toys around, getting tivkled by our beloved swim teacher and so on. Unfortunately, the heat in the pool was left off overnight, so we had to leave class early because the Bean just got too cold. I tried the hottub, but she started chanting "WAN NA NURSE! WAN NA NURSE!" until we went and showered and nursed. We saw all sorts of people we know in the locker room and pool. It was great. The husband came and got her right after I got her dressed, and they played in the free gym until I got dressed.

It was a bit tought getting her down for her nap, and the husband and I got in another fight while she was sleeping. He got us tickets to a family-friendly (for charity, no cussing and fist fights) hockey game this afternoon. It was the local JCC all-stars against some local pro-team alumni. I asked in the car on the way home from swimming if it was okay if we got there late, and the husband said it was fine, that the game would last about two hours. Fine.

As I may have mentioned, I was very tired today and didn't get to sleep in, so I laid down with the girl during her nap. The husband ended up walking her to sleep, because she wouldn't go down for me. (When he finally laid her down, she said "wanna nurse" in her sleep. What a little boob junkie she is.) I had a nap, and lunch and tidied up downstairs while she was still sleeping. I came upstairs to the husband who suddenly says, "Well, I guess it's too late to go to the game." I didn't understand why, because the game had only started a half hour before... how could we have missed it? Why didn't he tell me we were approaching some deadline? He just had decided it wouldn't work out. He wouldn't ask me to wake the girl (after more than 2 hours of nap!) because it might upset me. He wouldn't think of packing food to take, so he was thinking she had to eat at home when she woke up. He told me it would be a two-hour game, but really it could be only an hour. And so on. And I got pissed again, because he won't talk to me no matter what. I am just too scary to talk to, even though I am generally mad because he withheld information and opinions from me, not because I didn't like the opinions and information I finally dragged out of him.

I basically insisted that we wake the Bean and try to go, because I told her all day we were going. So I woke her and he packed her lunch, and we went. And it was fabulous. We didn't miss it at all. It was the middle of the second period when we got there. The girl stuffed her face and watched the game. She loved when play would stop, because they play all this heavy rock music during the breaks. I'm telling you, love is watching your 2-year-old shake her booty to ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man". Then we got to see the Zamboni and the mascot between periods.

It had gotten a little late to go home and cook dinner, so we had an early dinner out instead. The girl was very excited to being going to a restaurant. She got to sit in a booster, and draw with crayons, and stand in the booth and wave at people walking by, and eat fries with ketchup and drink from a straw and have dessert. Very exciting.

Then we came home and she and the husband read through a huge pile of hand-me-down books that our dear friends just gave us today. Finally, it was bathtime, which was cut short by the girl screaming to get out because she "saw eyes floating in the bath." I kid you not. I'm still not sure what she actually saw, but it may have been her own reflection.

So the husband has gone to hockey, and I need to get to bed. It just struck me as I was lying down with the girl waiting for her to go to sleep what a bittersweet day it was. The girl won't remember these early days, but I will. I love the things we do together. I just wish so much that the husband and I could enjoy these days together and that he could feel I am on his side and vice versa, instead of struggling with each other all the freaking time. I am so tired of it.